How Well Do I Know You
by Jessiy Landroz
Summary: Baiken got mail... who is it from? [One Shot]


Disclaimer: you already know the drill… if I owe anyone, I'll tell you…

By the way, this is somewhat an AU, yet still just a one shot, though I know that I should've added this as a second chapter for 'You got mail' it's just that I felt that it would be more appropriate to place it as a separate story, though it's pretty much plotless, just a little funny, I hope… have fun reading and review please, I'm feeling a little down and a few extra reviews might help me back up on my feet… thanks…

_Ding - Ding - Ding _

"Hn?"

_Ding - Ding - Ding_

"What now?" I grumbled under my breath and got off my favorite arm chair, I put down the book I was reading and stepped closer to my computer.

I was in my apartment having a nice, pleasant time reading a nice book when the computer started making noises. There was a small dinging noise announcing an e-mail delivery. I blinked twice, the message was titled '_How well do I know you?_' from the sender '_Butterfly addict_', I recognized it as Anji's e-mail nickname. I sat down on the leather chair then double clicked the message, opening the e-mail.

---

The message wrote:

"How well do I know you?"

1- I know you because your name is:

Baiken (like duh!)

2- And you are:

About 30-something? (not sure, so sue me! -sweatdrop-)

3- Your mood is:

Mood swing (in need of anger management, too!) but you're mostly grouchy really… (wears safety helmet)

4- You dislike people who are:

Bossy or wimpy… maybe cocky even?

5- You like to dress:

Um, tight and sexy? Mostly whitish or light colors…

6- Favorite sport:

Swords, what else? (and as you always yell at me, swordsmanship it's an art, not a sport!)

7- Favorite place to be:

If not at your bedroom pummeling the hell out of your punching bag, it's Easy! The hot spring down the block near the gym where Chipp can always peep down on you through the crack on the ceiling right at the west wall when you're not looking! (hint hint!)

8- Favorite music:

Anything classic with the traditional Japanese flute I think, right?

9- Favorite time of day/season:

Afternoon in Spring in a small humble village in the countryside D

10- What you like mostly about yourself:

Is that you don't have to depend on others, but you're being a little too independent to my point of view, asking for a little help never hurt anyone, you know!

11- What you dislike about yourself:

I think I over herd you complain about your butt and breasts? I dunno… I kinda like your butt, it's cute! And your breasts look sexy enough for me!

12- You generally like:

To spend your time sword practicing, I think you like reading books too, right? (sake and alcohol not included because you're already an addict so it doesn't count; of course when you're not bashing my face in or when you're not kicking Chipp's nuts! lol!)

13- Your favorite hobby(ies) are(is):

Um, swords? And sake?

14- The thing(s) you really like are(is):

I think swords and sake? (ok, so maybe this quiz has been a dumb idea!)

15- Your favorite pass time?

Um, swords and sake? -dies-

16- Your best friend(s) are(is):

Me? D and Chipp of course, I also remember you flirting with Sol and Testament once -sweatdrop-

17- Your lover/boyfriend is:

-cross fingers- um, me? If not, I'm guessing it's Testament…

18- Your favorite meal is:

Besides sake? I think its Sashimi boat, right?

19- Your favorite drink is:

Sake? Ok, ok… um, ice lemon tea?

20- You dislike:

I know this one, Tanuki's because you can't stand the male-thing, right? (You act so tough yet you're so bashful, ne? -goes to lock apartment door- I'm not ready to die yet, though… I'm still to young and sexy for my shirt!)

21- You generally dislike:

Um… bras?

22- The thing you find sexy about your lover/boyfriend is:

His voice? Though I'm guessing it's his ass really…

23- You don't like to eat or drink:

Um, ok, this is a tough one… um… no idea, sorry…

24- You don't like to pass time while:

Being with me? (-sob- you're so cold!)

25- Your least liked person:

I'm guessing it's me… you've always said I'm annoying… or was it Jam and I-No?

26- You dislike wasting time or money on:

Um, ok… I have no idea since you only spend money on sake…

27 - The one thing you'd want to do to your lover/boyfriend but never had the courage:

If it was me, I'd say spank'em! (I'm sensing great dark aura full with hatred and anger right about now)

28- You mostly dislike:

Chipp when he tries to grope your breast when you're not paying attention? Or when Sol tries to slap your butt when you're too busy arguing with someone?

29- The person you love is:

Um… I'm vacant…

30- What you think of this quiz?

I bet you'd come over to bash my brain open, ne?

"If you like this quiz, rewrite your answers and then send them to your friends and family! Know your friends and family better, have fun!"

---

I stared… '_Ok, he's got about 40 of the answers right, but I'm not that sword and sake obsessed!_' I read through the answers again, '_I do like Sashimi boat, but it's not my favorite… and Testament? A lover? Get serious! Sure I like the guy best among the others, but I'm not in love!_' I reached the hot spring quiz, and stopped to think it over, '_So there's a crack in the hot spring's wall, huh? Oh, Chipp is SO dead!_'

'_If there is one ass I'm gonna spank the hell's out of, it'll be Anji's!_' for a second, I had an image of Anji with his naked ass on my bed with a wise-ass grin on his face while holding a hairbrush. I felt me cheeks warm up, knots twirled in my stomach, '_On second though, screw that!_' I gently slapped my cheeks and shook the blush away, '_If there is one thing I'm gonna shove up-or actually down his wise-ass, it'll be the new lax medicine Jam ordered yesterday!_'

Right about then, there was a knock on the door.

I got up and slowly opened it…

My face went up in flames…

"Hey, Baiken." Anji greeted me with his usual mellow smile.

"What the f--- are you doing here?" I cried angrily, rage and embarrassment raging in my mind.

He blinked all too innocently and adjusted his lenses, "Uh, well, I was passing by and I just thought I'd warn you," he began.

"Warn me of what?" I snapped.

He knot his brows, "Sis are you ok? You're all so snappy today, something wrong?"

I grind my teeth and tried to relax, "What the f--- do you want, wise-ass?" I hissed, I felt my cheeks warm up when I said the naming.

He arched a confused brow but then let it slide, "Uh, anyway, I was going to tell you that my e-mail got hacked last night."

All the moment's rage went out the window…

"Huh?" I asked stupidly.

He spared a small smile, "Relax, Axl is helping me get it back, he and Chipp are at my room right now, they've been there for about an hour now, though." He paused for a sec to look across the ward to where his room was, "Didn't think getting rid of a virus would be that troublesome. It's funny though, they pushed me out and didn't let me help." He then shrugged and smiled at me again, "Anyway, Axl told me that the hacker might have planted a virus or something, I'm going down to a PC shop to see if I can get any up-to-date anti-virus installations, it might take a few hours, so I just dropped by to warn you, don't open any e-mails from me until I tell you it's safe, ok?"

I stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, then I nodded, "Uh, sure…"

He smiled sweetly and then waved goodbye before turning to walk away down the ward.

Right then it hit me like a kick from a while mare!

**_The e-mail! _**

I slammed the door shut and ran back, I rushed to the computer and saw the message still in place, so I closed it and closed the screen…

But then I saw something…

My desktop was empty of icons but was replaced with a giant picture of a sprawling Tanuki! He was lazing across my screen with his _Thing!_ it was so hideously huge! I tried to right click and change the desktop, but the mouse didn't respond, it was frozen in place on the animal's obvious belly-button, in other words, the hacker had fixed this wallpaper on my computer and there is no way for me to remove it!

I couldn't take the sight so I draped a towel over the screen.

Uncomfortably, my clothes felt irritatingly tight… my face went up in flames again.

'_I swear! This hacker knows me! If I ever find out how did this, I'll be shoving his 'thing' down his throat!_'

'_Who else knows me? Who knows me this shallowly, anyway?_'

My eyes widened.

"ZANUFF!!!"

-----

Elsewhere:

"Hacho!" I sneezed and rubbed my nose.

"Bless you." Axl chuckled, "Caught a cold Chipp?"

"No, I'm getting the chills that Baiken figured this out already!!" I murmured, "Maybe this prank wasn't such a good idea…"

Axl gave me an annoyed, bored look and arched a lazy brow, "Ah huh…"

"It was your idea, anyway!" I paused, "You're the one who faked-infecting Anji's computer with a virus so you'd get her e-mail and hack her computer! What if she found out? What if _Anji_ found out?"

"Oh just Relax! What could _possibly_ go wrong?"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"**Zanuff** I _know_ you're in there!" she cried atop her lungs, a rather threatening tone.

I froze; a thick strand of ice froze my spine.

"Aw sh!t…" Axl muttered…

We both looked at each other and fought about who would jump out of the window first.

We panicked when the door was about to get bashed open!

Oh God… we are SO dead!

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A/N: just felt like writing this… I'm feeling as depressed as death… I think I'm gonna stop all my fan fiction projects for a while, I don't fell like writing anything right now… sorry people.


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